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Who am I to help you follow God's Calling?
From an early age, I felt that I was here on this planet for a reason and that there was a deep purpose in life. But I didn’t know what it was, and I also didn’t know how to listen to this inner voice that I now recognize as God’s voice. I was so conditioned to listen to the voices of my father, my teachers, my bosses, and other figures of authority. I was busier pleasing them than listening to what God wanted me to do with my life and seeking His guidance. Therefore, I experienced quite a few challenges. I never really could find my place in school and life in general.
But I thought, “If I can just make it through my teenage years and move out of my parents’ house, everything would be okay. Then I would have my own life, make my own choices, and follow my own path in life.” A week before turning 18, I packed my things and left my parental home to move to one of the biggest cities in the Netherlands: The Hague.
I believed that being able to make my own choices would make everything better, but I didn’t find the fulfillment I was searching for in The Hague either.
By the time I was 23, I found myself at a low point in my life. I was stuck in a toxic job where I felt I didn’t belong. I struggled to get through the days and did everything to avoid feeling how truly unhappy I was. I knew my life wasn’t right, but I had NO idea how to change it. I lacked the tools to deal with my feelings, pain, emotions, and needs. I used drugs daily to numb the pain and emptiness of my existence.
I wasn’t used to asking myself what I truly felt or needed, and there was no higher power guiding me. I had learned that others decided what I should do and told me whether I was doing things “right” or not. But that was so confusing because everyone seemed to want something different from me, and I couldn’t please anyone. I tried to do everything “right” to receive recognition and validation. But it didn’t work. I was miserable and lost myself completely, leading to depression, an anxiety disorder, and eventually a severe burnout.
One morning, I arrived at work, and a colleague asked how I was doing because I didn't look well.
All I could do was cry. No, I was not okay. And it was time to finally admit it. Backed into a corner with nowhere left to turn, I finally had the courage to admit that I was not okay and that something had to change. At last, I started asking the questions I had avoided all along:
“Is this how life is supposed to be? Is this REALLY what my reality is going to look like for the rest of my life?”
Something inside me refused to accept that life was REALLY supposed to be this hard. Deep down, a voice whispered that there was MORE and that there was something I couldn’t yet see that could change my life, that there was a way for me to give meaning to my life.
The Universe introduced me to Louise Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life."
When I first received this book six months earlier, I wanted NOTHING to do with what she shared. I wasn’t raised to be spiritual and only believed in what I could see with my own eyes. And this woman claimed she had cured herself of cancer just by changing her consciousness and her thinking? I thought it was quackery. My mind was totally closed off from what she taught.
But when I was at home, broken, depressed, and addicted, I thought, “Hmm. Maybe there’s some truth to it. What I’m doing now certainly isn’t working for me.” So, I decided to set aside my resistance and reread the book. This time, I read it with different eyes, and I felt a shift within myself. That was the moment I first opened myself up to a different way of looking at the world. What Louise and many modern spiritual teachers taught me helped me to get out of victim consciousness and empower myself.
In the years that followed my life’s circumstances started to improve.
First, my addiction and depression got healed.
I managed to get a great job, and although I knew this wasn’t my true passion in life, I was doing more than okay. I also used manifestation to attract a very nice boss who gave me enough space to do my own thing, I had nice co-workers and a great office. I enjoyed life again, and my ex-husband and I made some amazing trips and started a family.
But I felt there was still more. I still felt a deeper calling. I experienced a deep desire to follow my inner Guidance. I wasn’t raised with any type of religion, but around this time, I was often talking to God, and every morning, I woke up and said: “Okay, God, show me what I can create today.” And I followed what He said I should do.
I felt a deep pull to leave my day job behind and start my own business.
My life got so much better by implementing what Louise and so many other modern spiritual teachers taught me and I wanted nothing more to pass on this knowledge.
Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of teaching thousands of people about Manifestation Consciousness, and my clients got amazing results.
But still, I felt there was a layer deeper...
My clients got amazing results, but something started to feel “off” for me. It was like something was not right. I started my business out of service to God, but often I attracted people that weren’t willing to surrender their life and business to God. They only wanted money or a big house or whatever material possessions. I tried to explain to them that I experience certain blessings because I served God, but they couldn’t hear me. And I still was too much of a pleaser. I still was too much involved in the patterns of this world to keep God First in my business.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” — Romans 12:2
I slowly started to lose control….
I had a couple of very rough years. I got divorced from my husband. I hardly saw my daughter. I gave up a big part of my business. I lost almost all my new friends. I even accumulated debt, although I taught people about manifesting money years before, and I had months when I made over 40.000 euros a month.
I couldn’t understand what was happening. I knew about manifesting; why couldn’t I make it work? I was ashamed, and I felt very lonely. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it because people entered my space to “get” things. I was scared of what they would think if they knew that I maybe didn’t know how it worked myself.
But I kept seeking God, and He led me to Jezus.
Before then, I didn’t pay much attention to Jezus. I couldn’t understand the story about the Crucifixion, and when I thought about Jezus, I thought about Jehova’s witnesses, the “Jezus saves us” Signs on the side of the road, the abuse in the church and the dogmatic rules of organized religion. I didn’t want to have anything to do with it. But God showed me that the only way out was to surrender to Jezus. I didn’t want to, and I still had a lot of resistance. But I did it anyway.
That day Changed my life.
I still don’t know exactly what happened other than the power of surrendering to Jezus. A couple of hours after I spoke these words, I felt a heavy energy lifted from me:
“Jezus, I acknowledge that I can’t do this by myself. I surrender my life to you. I acknowledge you as my Lord and Savior. I trust in your guidance and grace. Please lead me on the path of righteousness and fill my heart with your love and peace.”
From that day on, I truly started to understand what Jezus meant when He said:
“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
I still feel a deep calling to help people follow their calling and fulfill their Life’s Purpose, but now I am doing this with Jezus. I now understand why I experienced so many challenges, and with Jezus, I feel everything is being restored and rebuilt better than ever.
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew, 7: 24-27
Do you feel called to serve God and His Kingdom? Do you want to build a stable foundation for your life, business, and relationships? Feel free to reach out; I’d love to help! You can also look at our offerings page to see what services we offer!
